July 2009
Anonymous says FML →
Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
Taking A Crit →
Xbox Killer →
Now that’s the guy you don’t want to mess with in prison. Gives the Red Ring of Death a completely different connotation, huh?
Note about today’s comic…it updated on Thursday, but it was…
arsenic660 says FML →
Today, I went into my part-time job at a drugstore. We always have one item we try and sell to every customer. For the next week I have to ask every person if they would like to try my nuts. FML
sodomantis says FML →
Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to have sex with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my…
FGum says FML →
Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidently dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML
Nikon D300s →
The world’s best semi-pro digital SLR just got better. The Nikon D300s ($1,800; late August 2009) takes Nikon’s two-year old D300 and gives it a modest upgrade, adding features like… …
Leica S2 DSLR hitting UK scene in October for... →
Remember Leica’s S-system flagship DSLR camera? We’d wager a nickel you probably stuck this in the deep in the back of your brain after its September 2008 debut, figuring something that…
A hearty welcome to NewsGator users →
A little while back, our friends over at NewsGator told us that lots of people who use their client RSS readers like FeedDemon and NetNewsWire had been asking for the ability to synchronize with…
SMS vulnerability on iPhone to be revealed today,... →
Remember that alleged SMS-based security hole on the iPhone allowing evil-doers to execute arbitrary code and do all sorts of nasty crap like create an army of mobile zombies ready…
LG releases first official shots of BL40 "New... →
Filed under: Handsets, LG, GSM, EDGE, HSDPA, UMTS
We’ve already got a pile of evidence taller than the BL40 itself that told us LG’s latest Black Label device was that…
Apple Ignores Real Threat to iPhone Security,... →
Charlie Miller (the man who hacked the MacBook Air in two minutes) and his partner-in-crime, Collin Mulliner, plan to unveil an exploit at this Thursday’s Black Hat cybersecurity conference…
iPhone Virus? Turn Your Phone Off →
That seems to be the only practical advice we’ve heard so far as a security vulnerability is set to be exposed later this afternoon that potentially threatens every iPhone via an SMS…
Spartacus gets fake dongs, but not Hung? →
Filed under: Other Drama Shows, Other Comedy Shows, OpEd, Reality-Free
I love how blunt executive producer Steven DeKnight is about the usage of a male prosthetic on his new…
Rae says FML →
Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told…
Gmail Kisses “On Behalf Of” Goodbye, Enables... →
Anyone who has ever tried to use Gmail as a central hub for their Email has likely fallen prey to one of the service’s annoying flaws: there was no way to use another site’s outgoing SMTP servers…
verysadasian says FML →
Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me “the stereotype”. FML
'Cause You Know It's Coming: Ferrari 458 Italia... →
Filed under: Convertible, Performance, Ferrari, Luxury
Jon Sibal’s rendering of the Ferrari 458 Spider — Click above for high-res image
Now that the Ferrari 458 Italia…
Halo Wars Leaderboards →
I wanted to make you aware of an unfortunate incident that has resulted in the loss of all data on the Halo Wars Xbox LIVE Leaderboards. This includes all singleplayer, multiplayer and…
VelocityMary says FML →
Today, a friend offered to have sex with me, since I’m a 19 year old virgin who’s only been kissed. He then added on that I would have to give him my Wii in return. FML
BigFoot says FML →
Today, I was trying on some shoes when I felt the heels break underneath me. Not only did they cost two paychecks worth, but as I was leaving I heard the sales girl say that “we really should have a…
Ouch says FML →
Today, my boyfriend told me that I look better in different kinds of light. I asked him which kind of light I looked best in. His reply? “No light at all.” FML
Beefballs says FML →
Today, I just found out my dad got remarried a year ago. The woman is officially living with us, I got to have lunch with her alone today. I found out she is only 22, with a 14 year old little…
tatilalicious says FML →
Today, I was driving my car with expired tags to work. Because I was on the phone I almost missed my turn. So when I made a wide right turn I swiped a cop car sitting at the intersection. I was given…
notsexy says FML →
Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some “fun”. It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
Pricey Toys for Nerds at This Year's Comic-Con →
Comic-Con is the Garden of Eden for nerds, and what do nerds love most of all? Collectible toys. From hand-painted action figures to life-sized statues, they’ll vacuum seal it or enclose…
iDisk iPhone app arrives, there is much rejoicing →
Filed under: Apple, iPhone, MobileMe
You have waited with varying degrees of patience, but your wait is over: the MobileMe iDisk app, in all its officialness, is now available …
Depeche Mode is all over Left 4 Dead 2 →
What’s the first thing you think of, musically, when you think of Left 4 Dead 2? The most obvious answer, of course, is Depeche Mode. At Comic-Con, Valve’s Chet Falizsek revealed…
Borderlands has at least three million possible... →
During a recent event showcasing Borderlands, MTV Multiplayer spotted something pretty interesting. While Gearbox president and founder Randy Pitchford was switching through some…
Possible iPhone nano design and details revealed... →
Ok people, you know the drill. Standard disclaimer here: patents may give us some preliminary details about a future product but companies — especially Apple — will patent anything and…
pixelbaker says FML →
Today, I was at work doing phone computer support helping a woman with her computer. I asked her to close all her open windows. She deleted all the important company documents in the open folder…
Red says FML →
Today, I bought my wife a dog because she wants something to care for. After handing holding it and it loving me for a few hours, I gave it to my wife when she got home. Two seconds later, it barked…
New iPhone App Maps Local Sex Offenders →
You can use an iPhone to locate restaurants, movie theaters, and even medical marijuana distributors. While those apps are helpful, a new application aims to make your neighborhood a…
New Front Page! →
Today we’re trying a redesigned front page for folks who are new to Twitter.com. If you’re a regular around these parts, then you won’t notice the new look unless you sign out of your account….
Anonymous says FML →
Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began…
imscrewed says FML →
Today, my boyfriend told me he was going out tonight to celebrate his ex-but-still-friends-girlfriend’s birthday at a local club and hopes I wasn’t offended that I wasn’t invited. I sure am offended;…
Tru Blood is now a true drink →
Filed under: OpEd, Reality-Free, True Blood
Come on. You knew it was going to happen. Tru Blood (the fictional vampire blood-substitute from the HBO series True Blood) is going to…
Lamborghini Reventon Spyder to Debut in Frankfurt? →
Rumors that Lamborghini will come out with a roadster version of its ultra-rare, €1 million carbon fiber Reventon supercar have been bruited about for a while. Now some more concrete…
Rogers Wireless begins 21Mbps HSPA+ rollout, a... →
Filed under: Rogers Wireless, HSDPA, Misc, HSUPA
It may not have beaten the likes of Australia’s Telstra to the 21Mbps mark, but Rogers Wireless has still earned some pretty…
Creative debuts Android-powered Zii EGG for... →
It’s hard to know where to begin with this, but Creative has confirmed that Zii EGG handheld we saw pass through the FCC a few weeks ago, and proceeded to slap every odd marketing term…
Home & Office : Star Trek Enterprise Bottle... →
Open your Romulan Ale with the USS Enterprise bottle opener!The best way to open a bottle of Romulan Ale $17.99
webperson04 says FML →
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn’t have good aim. FML
fedexed says FML →
Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my…
skygoddess says FML →
Today, I was at my job as a flight attendant. A passenger on my plane stopped breathing and turned blue. As I cleared his airways and was busy strapping an oxygen mask to his face, the passenger…
bsaucedo says FML →
Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up…
Anonymous says FML →
Today, I saw this cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty and asked for her number. She replied “You…
RA: Renters Anonymous - July 28th, 2009 →
New Releases
Fast & Furious - 6.1/10 - Trailer Starring Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster, John Ortiz, Laz Alonso, Gal Gadot
Heading back to the streets…
saynotochrispine says FML →
Today, my boyfriend told me that we would be living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up, ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML
Geek Toys : Magic Penny Magnet Kit →
British pennies are magnetic - and are great for sculptures and experiments!Of course you can just build sculptures with these British pennies, but why stop there? Make pennies spin at 1,000…
BigPurplePresent says FML →
Today, I was really upset after work, and tearily asked my boyfriend to bring something over to cheer me up when he visited later. An hour or so later he arrived, having bought me a brand new large…